Feed the Haiku Monster! [Official ItB.com Contest - 2009]

[Keith]

We've officially made it to the deadest part of the NFL offseason, a time to relax, a time to refle---

Oh noes!

The Haiku Monster has is b-b-b-back!!!1!

As you may recall from previous offseasons, when the Haiku Monster has too little Texans news and opinions on which to feed in the latter stages of the offseason, the only thing that keeps him (it?) from wreaking all-out armageddon on our little oasis of fan-flavored goodness are your pithy haikus for his consumption!

So please... reply in this thread with your best haiku to satisfy the Haiku Monster. There are only two rules: (1) You must follow the generally accepted haiku format - - NO EXCEPTIONS! and (2) You must make the Haiku Monster feel the sort of inner peace one can only achieve from a perfectly constructed haiku.

Or, the rules in a manner that might satisfy the monster:

Limitless entry
Haiku to your heart's content
Just don't suck too much

I'll then brave life and limb in taking your entries to the Haiku Monster to see which are the most satisfactory and ask all of you to vote for the favorite. The person posting the most satisfactory haiku will receive a ItB.com t-shirt (free shipping included)!

[popanot]

F#ck $10 million
Economic recession
Need to make it rain

[cland]

Bush says forget scheme
it's a new philosophy
Let the big dogs hunt!

[cloudwasher]

Dunta and Owen
Dont be difficult with us
Sign the damn contract

[cloudwasher]

Texans Playoff Time
This will be our year to shine
If not, Gary's gone.

[HPF Bob]

It's up and it's good!
Kris Brown beats the Patriots
And we're playoff bound!

[HPF Bob]

Goodness sakes, Jacques Reeves!
Turn around and see the ball!
Reach up and bat it!

[HPF Bob]

Jacoby Jones, PLEASE
Stop dancing and run forward
You will score that way

[Mike]

The Astros are done
It is hot as hell
It must be football time in Houston

[Nconroe]

We got the players
We can win to make playoffs
Easy to see now

[Nconroe]

Special teams solid
Offense can score lots of points
Defense must stop run

[HPF Bob]

Originally Posted by Mike

The Astros are done
It is hot as hell
It must be football time in Houston

Ah, yes. The 5-5-9 haiku.

[Mike]

Sorry, I was a med school flunkie.

[machoneil]

Can Dan Orlovsky,
or can even Rex Grossman
Fly like a copter?

[kravix]

Schaub please do not break
Mario take em all down
Find me a corner

[Nconroe]

Slayton gets first down
Andre Johnson caught another
Schaub is MVP

[kravix]

The Texans I love
The Titans and Colts I hate
Beat them twice this year!

[coloradodude]

Crush the stinkin Jags

Dominate the division

Colts go six and ten

[cland]

Expectations are
a dangerous type of thing
for Texans' coaches

[Keith]

Bumping haiku thread
As a final reminder
For some late entries.

Voting will occur
throughout next week and weekend
up until camp starts.