Hurricane Watch 2008

[HPF Bob]

I lived in Texas City during Hurricane Alicia. I went across the street and spent the night at Danforth Hospital, thinking it was the safest spot to be. It was safe for me but not for my brand new car which had two windows kicked in by flying gravel.

My sister in Alabama had the eye of Hurricane Ivan (a Cat 4) pass right over her house, toppling her chimney and poking a few holes in the roof.

As to the names of the storms, the pilots who flew into storms began naming them after their wives and girlfriends and the practice stuck. Then the feminists demanded that the hurricanes have male names too so we have alternating hurricanes and himmacanes (and this year a johnmacane too).

Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Houston) even expressed displeasure that not enough hurricanes had black-sounding names. I, for one, would love to see a Hurricane LaShaniqua someday - in the interest of equality, of course.

In my experience, the girl hurricanes like to dawdle offshore like they can't make up their minds where to make landfall while the boy hurricanes just stampede right on through like a carjacker running through a spike strip. If you don't think hurricanes have personalities, consider that one of the first male-named hurricanes was Hurricane David. And where did David go? Miami Beach! So obviously, David was our country's first Jewish hurricane!

Frankly, I'm glad hurricanes were given female names. It's wonderful imagery to see headlines like "Dolly Gives Texas A Blow".