Feed the Haiku Monster! [Official ItB.com Contest - 2009]

[Keith]

We've officially made it to the deadest part of the NFL offseason, a time to relax, a time to refle---

Oh noes!

The Haiku Monster has is b-b-b-back!!!1!

As you may recall from previous offseasons, when the Haiku Monster has too little Texans news and opinions on which to feed in the latter stages of the offseason, the only thing that keeps him (it?) from wreaking all-out armageddon on our little oasis of fan-flavored goodness are your pithy haikus for his consumption!

So please... reply in this thread with your best haiku to satisfy the Haiku Monster. There are only two rules: (1) You must follow the generally accepted haiku format - - NO EXCEPTIONS! and (2) You must make the Haiku Monster feel the sort of inner peace one can only achieve from a perfectly constructed haiku.

Or, the rules in a manner that might satisfy the monster:

Limitless entry
Haiku to your heart's content
Just don't suck too much

I'll then brave life and limb in taking your entries to the Haiku Monster to see which are the most satisfactory and ask all of you to vote for the favorite. The person posting the most satisfactory haiku will receive a ItB.com t-shirt (free shipping included)!