Feed the Haiku Monster! [Official ItB.com Contest]
 

Oh noes!

The Haiku Monster has found his way here from the old site. As you may recall, the Haiku Monster has too little Texans news to feed on in the latter stages of the offseason, and the only thing to keep him at bay are your pithy haikus for his consumption!

So please... reply in this thread with your best haiku to satisfy the Haiku Monster. There are only two rules: (1) You must follow the generally accepted haiku format - - NO EXCEPTIONS! and (2) You must make the Haiku Monster feel the sort of inner peace one can only achieve from a perfectly constructed haiku.

I'll then take them to him to see which are the most satisfactory and ask all of you to vote for the favorite. The person posting the most satisfactory haiku will receive a hot-off-the-presses first edition ItB.com t-shirt!

How many entries?
I can make hundreds of these
No monster will starve!

If anyone says
'Houston, we have a problem'
this season, I'll scream

Limitless entry
Haiku to your heart's content
Just don't suck too much

I think Machonelli already won. That was pretty stinkin good.

Last year, eight and eight
This year, we go for the East
Our future is now.

Seventy-eight yards
Andre Johnson to the house
Play-Action bitches!

From Good Old Katy
To the Boardwalk of Kemah
Demeco Does Roam

haha it took me a second to register but that's a great one joe joe! side to side!!!

A Freight Train's comin'
Tracks rattlin', engines roar!
The Number Ninety

The Titans suck, but
Not as much as the Cowboys
"How does my Arse taste?"

Battle Red fever
The defense bringing the pain
Catch the sickness now!

Training Camp is near
Get the tailgating in gear
Because we want beer!

70 and sun
Look up to the clear blue sky
Oops. They closed the roof.

Schaub must play better
Because David Carr is not
Walking through that door.

Haiku! Bless You man!
We love our Texans football!
Battle Red Kickoff!

Titans suck and Jags suck
Big Blue Donkeys suck as well
Texans kick their ---

Haiku for Weeks 1-6
Steelers suck, Jags suck,
Titans suck, the Ravens suck,
Dolphins and Colts suck,
Haiku for Weeks 7-11
Lions suck, bye week!
Vikings suck, the Bengals suck,
The Colts suck again!
Haiku for Weeks 12-15
Browns suck, Jags still suck,
Packers suck with or without,
The Titans bench Vince,
Haiku for Weeks 16-?
Raiders suck, Bears suck,
We finally make the cut,
Playoffs or Bust Ya'll!!!

In the Deep Trenches
Drinking Age and the Lone Wolf
Battle Red Defense

Under the radar
Steel blue and battle red flies
We will shock them all.

Offence is Great
The Defense is Better
Playoffs we Make

The entry above fails the generally accepted haiku format, and the Haiku Monster is most dissatisfied by this "offence". :p

meh.. was my first shot ever at a haiku hopefully the monster finds this more appealing.


The offence is great
Defense makes a difference
Playoffs we will make

Down, Set, HUT!...One...Two...
Shit, here they come! Hit Andre!
Time to go fetal,


White gloves, bangin' hair!
What more could anyone ask?
Best Q. B. Ever.

Since the monster didnt eat my last one I will try again.

Kubes has the best plan
AJ to the house all day
Mario get sacks

The Texans we love
Tears of joy and tears of pain
Our blood, Battle Red

Counting your fingers...
Its not hard to understand
why the games at hand.

Loud racing motors
Make me look out the windows.
Where are my tickets?!!

While its early yet
We think the trenches are strong
Finally in the playoffs

I thought it was gone
but searched everywhere (this site)
now the season can start

The Astros Blow Hard
It approaches Training Camp
Depression nears gone.