Official Texans @ Cardinals Fake Game Thread, 8/9/2014
 

I am not sure what to expect, but hope the guys play a smart game.

I reckon Fitz will start the 1st quarter and then we'll probably get a big dose of Keenum and possibly some Savage....

-----------------

Here's a Texan roster sorted by jersey number. 2 pages printed out. Right click the link and "save target as" and save to your desktop or whatever.... Comes in handy for quick lookup....

Palmer hits Fitzgerald for the 7 yd. TD. 10:37 left in the first qtr.

7-0 Cards

Texan defense looking up and down. Harris got worked.....

That was very disappointing...Brandon Harris looked bad...LETS GO OFFENSE

Nice 7 yard run by Grimes on 1st down but the Texans go 3 and out and punt.

There goes that...I'm going to try to stay positive...

Well, men, I guess Carson Palmer is a lot better than he used to be.

I don't really mind when Brandon Harris gets owned because he's obviously not going to make this team. But when Jackson gets exposed by a couple of second stringers it just pisses me the f off.

Christ, Harris is terrible.

The bad news is we are terrible.

Stanton hits Brown for the 5 yd TD.

Cards 14, Texans 0

3:50 left in the 1st quarter.

Cards 9 first downs. Texans 0.

Cards QB's 9/9 passing.

Well, I think we've spotted a need for an upgrade.... :mad:

Worse than I'd remembered. Even the kicker, f me, Bullock kicks it to the five, theirs booms it out of the end zone.

Fitzpatrick sucks. We already knew that. That doesn't really bother me. Kareem Jackson sucking more than Jenna Jameson infuriates me.

New coach. New system. Same old holding calls, same old pass interference calls.

Fitz's pass is tipped/picked. Cards ball at the Texan 13.

I'm switching back over to watch Johnny Highball.

Cards settle for a 32 yd FG.

Cards 17, Texans 0

The Broncos played the other day so why not?

Texans rush for a 1st down, Fitz completes a pass - we're rolling now... :p

Cards 17, Texans 0

End of the 1st quarter.

Manziel 2-for-2 passing (8 yds), three scrambles for 10 yds. My guess is that he's not very patient in the pocket.

1 read, and he takes off.

Since our only training camp coverage of the Texans came from a Texans employee on the Texans website, I had to read daily quotes about Ryan Fitzpatrick and his amazing variety of arm angles. He promptly comes out and throws it right at the only lineman in his entire field of vision for a tipped pass and an INT.

This is going to be a very long season.

Thumbing through first-round graded QBs for next year's draft....:D

Defense needs a lot of work, and with their ability on third downs, they're going to get it.

Let's wait and see Savage first. I might like to use that pick on a corner.

So I guess the idea that a healthy and rejuvenated Newton might be better this year might have been optimistic.

Cards driving again at the 2 minute mark. Big 35 yard gain by the Cards.... Pleasant missed, Bouye knocks the guy out of bounds to save the TD...

Ball at the Texan 12.

Cards tack on a 28-yd FG to make it 20-0 with 1:20 left in the half.

We are going to be bad this year...however I am curious to see O'Briens halftime adjustments...

Texans put together a decent drive but Fitz ends it with a pick at the Cards 11 yard line with 10 seconds left in the half.

Halftime.

Cards 20, Texans 0

Lots of half time adjustments and lots to work on this next 1eek.

It is early, but rough start.

If Keenum has been worse than Fitzpatrick in practice, we are going to SUCK bad this year...side note #62 is terrible

Meanwhile, Astros are beating the only AL team worse than they are - the Texas Rangers, 7-2.

Number 62 is the starter, dude, the guy the team's second round pick can't beat out.

I've watched quite a number of the preseason games and I have not seen a team look as bad as the Texans. Nowhere close, in fact.

I think I'm running out of Zastudil at home. Probably time to refill my prescription.

I expected the offense to stink with Fitzpatrick. I feared the ST would be bad even with a new ST coach. I didn't expect our defense to look this bad.

A few stats to chew on

Penalties: Texans 10-111, Arizona 9-79

Passes completed: Hou 9-19, Ari 21-28

Penalty-filled (by both teams) ho-hum 3rd quarter but the Cards are driving again.

Score remains:

Cards 20, Texans 0

Start of the 4th quarter.

Logan Thomas, widely considered a project like Savage, looks really good.

Cards settle for a 25-yard FG.

Cards 23, Texans 0

12:28 left in the game.

Wasn't he the guy that agreed to become a TE if it didn't work out at QB for him?