Official Texans @ Cardinals Fake Game Thread, 8/9/2014

[Nconroe]

I am not sure what to expect, but hope the guys play a smart game.

[Arky]

I reckon Fitz will start the 1st quarter and then we'll probably get a big dose of Keenum and possibly some Savage....

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Here's a Texan roster (http://www.planetcasemod.com/roster2014.txt) sorted by jersey number. 2 pages printed out. Right click the link and "save target as" and save to your desktop or whatever.... Comes in handy for quick lookup....

[Arky]

Palmer hits Fitzgerald for the 7 yd. TD. 10:37 left in the first qtr.

7-0 Cards

Texan defense looking up and down. Harris got worked.....

[Big Texas]

That was very disappointing...Brandon Harris looked bad...LETS GO OFFENSE

[Arky]

Nice 7 yard run by Grimes on 1st down but the Texans go 3 and out and punt.

[Big Texas]

There goes that...I'm going to try to stay positive...

[chuck]

Well, men, I guess Carson Palmer is a lot better than he used to be.

[chuck]

I don't really mind when Brandon Harris gets owned because he's obviously not going to make this team. But when Jackson gets exposed by a couple of second stringers it just pisses me the f off.

Christ, Harris is terrible.

[barrett]

The bad news is we are terrible.

[Arky]

Stanton hits Brown for the 5 yd TD.

Cards 14, Texans 0

3:50 left in the 1st quarter.

Cards 9 first downs. Texans 0.

Cards QB's 9/9 passing.

[HPF Bob]

Well, I think we've spotted a need for an upgrade.... :mad:

[chuck]

The bad news is we are terrible.

Worse than I'd remembered. Even the kicker, f me, Bullock kicks it to the five, theirs booms it out of the end zone.

Fitzpatrick sucks. We already knew that. That doesn't really bother me. Kareem Jackson sucking more than Jenna Jameson infuriates me.

[HPF Bob]

New coach. New system. Same old holding calls, same old pass interference calls.

[Arky]

Fitz's pass is tipped/picked. Cards ball at the Texan 13.

[HPF Bob]

I'm switching back over to watch Johnny Highball.

[Arky]

Cards settle for a 32 yd FG.

Cards 17, Texans 0

[chuck]

I'm switching back over to watch Johnny Highball.

The Broncos played the other day so why not?

[Arky]

Texans rush for a 1st down, Fitz completes a pass - we're rolling now... :p

Cards 17, Texans 0

End of the 1st quarter.

[HPF Bob]

Manziel 2-for-2 passing (8 yds), three scrambles for 10 yds. My guess is that he's not very patient in the pocket.

[WMH]

Manziel 2-for-2 passing (8 yds), three scrambles for 10 yds. My guess is that he's not very patient in the pocket.

1 read, and he takes off.

[barrett]

Since our only training camp coverage of the Texans came from a Texans employee on the Texans website, I had to read daily quotes about Ryan Fitzpatrick and his amazing variety of arm angles. He promptly comes out and throws it right at the only lineman in his entire field of vision for a tipped pass and an INT.

This is going to be a very long season.

[HPF Bob]

Thumbing through first-round graded QBs for next year's draft....:D

[HPF Bob]

Defense needs a lot of work, and with their ability on third downs, they're going to get it.

[chuck]

Let's wait and see Savage first. I might like to use that pick on a corner.

[chuck]

So I guess the idea that a healthy and rejuvenated Newton might be better this year might have been optimistic.

[Arky]

Cards driving again at the 2 minute mark. Big 35 yard gain by the Cards.... Pleasant missed, Bouye knocks the guy out of bounds to save the TD...

Ball at the Texan 12.

[Arky]

Cards tack on a 28-yd FG to make it 20-0 with 1:20 left in the half.

[Big Texas]

We are going to be bad this year...however I am curious to see O'Briens halftime adjustments...

[Arky]

Texans put together a decent drive but Fitz ends it with a pick at the Cards 11 yard line with 10 seconds left in the half.

Halftime.

Cards 20, Texans 0

[Nconroe]

Lots of half time adjustments and lots to work on this next 1eek.

It is early, but rough start.

[Big Texas]

If Keenum has been worse than Fitzpatrick in practice, we are going to SUCK bad this year...side note #62 is terrible

[HPF Bob]

Meanwhile, Astros are beating the only AL team worse than they are - the Texas Rangers, 7-2.

[chuck]

If Keenum has been worse than Fitzpatrick in practice, we are going to SUCK bad this year...side note #62 is terrible

Number 62 is the starter, dude, the guy the team's second round pick can't beat out.

I've watched quite a number of the preseason games and I have not seen a team look as bad as the Texans. Nowhere close, in fact.

[HPF Bob]

I think I'm running out of Zastudil at home. Probably time to refill my prescription.

[barrett]

I expected the offense to stink with Fitzpatrick. I feared the ST would be bad even with a new ST coach. I didn't expect our defense to look this bad.

[HPF Bob]

A few stats to chew on

Penalties: Texans 10-111, Arizona 9-79

Passes completed: Hou 9-19, Ari 21-28

[Arky]

Penalty-filled (by both teams) ho-hum 3rd quarter but the Cards are driving again.

Score remains:

Cards 20, Texans 0

Start of the 4th quarter.

[chuck]

Logan Thomas, widely considered a project like Savage, looks really good.

[Arky]

Cards settle for a 25-yard FG.

Cards 23, Texans 0

12:28 left in the game.

[Arky]

Logan Thomas, widely considered a project like Savage, looks really good.

Wasn't he the guy that agreed to become a TE if it didn't work out at QB for him?

[Arky]

Jeez, can't any of our QB's throw one deep? All this checkdown stuff is putting me to sleep...

[Big Texas]

I am trying to find anything positive from this game...still searching

[WMH]

I am trying to find anything positive from this game...still searching

Its almost over.

I was hoping to see more of Savage, but the 4's can't get a damn stop....:mad:

[chuck]

I am trying to find anything positive from this game...still searching

I guess if you're going to suck in every aspect of the game save one you could do worse than have a good punter.

[Warren]

Wasn't he the guy that agreed to become a TE if it didn't work out at QB for him?
Yep. Doesn't look like that will be happening soon.

[Arky]

Cards get one more as Thomas hits Buckner for a 12 yard TD.

Cards 30, Texans 0

1:53 left in the game.

[Nconroe]

My Bluebell ice cream was pretty good.

[chuck]

Their third string tight end is a better quarterback than anyone the Texans have. Meanwhile these slapdicks can't even get the proper personnel out to contest an extra point. What a joke.

[barrett]

I was angry for a while. Then I just started to feel sad.

We were bad on Offense, Defense and Special Teams. We were terrible on 3rd downs on both sides of the ball. We turned it over and our defense didn't come close to anything like a big play. We didn't return a kickoff past the 20 or stop them from getting past the 20.

Our CBs were terrible and our Safeties were worse. Mercilous could not get pressure against scrub 2nd team lineman. Our starters got killed, then our backups got killed, then our guys who aren't going to make the team were worse than their guys who won't make the team. Penalties were bad on both sides. We looked poorly coached, flat, lost, and disorganized. Keenum took a delay of game on the first play of the 2nd half. And I had to listen to Spencer Tillman talk about it all.

But at least our guys are running laps for mental mistakes in practice.

This team is losing me already in preseason game 1. I think I am looking at Chuck and wondering why I can't be that optimistic.

[chuck]

Who the hell is this John Harris clown? He is fing terrible. He's like a spastic gnat and he offers zero insight. What the hell happened to Rich Lord?

[chuck]

It's like these guys don't practice, they just stand around dancing to BOB's playlists.

I'm telling you guys, I have not seen any other team look anywhere near this lost. It is an absolute disgrace.

[Arky]

Savage gets sacked for a safety.

Cards 32, Texans 0

Texans to kick off.....

Cards gets possession and just sit on it till the clock runs out.

Final Score:

Cards 32, Texans 0

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I not real down on this one.... Many of our better players were out. I'm surprised Fitz looked so bad.... Like worse-than-Schaub bad....

Just hope OB cracks the whip on them this week.....

[barrett]

It's like these guys don't practice, they just stand around dancing to BOB's playlists.

I'm telling you guys, I have not seen any other team look anywhere near this lost. It is an absolute disgrace.

Yep. That was bad even by preseason standards. Totally lost.

[WMH]

Look at the bright side, only one way to go up from here.

Didn't think the running game was abysmal. Mediocre maybe, but not atrocious.

So there's that....

[barrett]

Savage gets sacked for a safety.

Cards 32, Texans 0

Texans to kick off.....

Cards gets possession and just sit on it till the clock runs out.

Final Score:

Cards 32, Texans 0

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I not real down on this one.... Many of our better players were out. I'm surprised Fitz looked so bad.... Like worse-than-Schaub bad....
Just hope OB cracks the whip on them this week.....

What about Fitzpatrick's career made you think he was anything better than this? He has played for years and all of those years were worse than Matt Schaub's years. He is a bad QB. When you enter the year with him as your starter you will not be good.

It is possible they look better with Andre and Foster (if Foster plays), but it doesn't change who Fitzpatrick is. 5 teams in 9 years, under 60% completion, under 6.5 yards per attempt, barely better than 1:1 TD to INT ration.

When we went into the season with Fitzpatrick, Keenum, and Savage we were punting on 2014 before it started.

[Nconroe]

It was the first practice game and we stunk pretty good, the whole team including coaches. I expect good improvement next three weeks.

The penalties were a big disappointment, but a lot of teams were getting lots of penalties.

Fitzpatrick is really gonna have to improve.

[barrett]

It was the first practice game and we stunk pretty good, the whole team including coaches. I expect good improvement next three weeks.

The penalties were a big disappointment, but a lot of teams were getting lots of penalties.

Fitzpatrick is really gonna have to improve.

I agree with all of this. I don't think tonight means all is lost. I think tonight means we were terrible tonight and we are in for more terrible unless there is a drastic change. I also thinks it means this is the thinnest team we have fielded in years. This is a symptom of a new coach and new system. It will take time to fill the roster with guys they like. And at least they have been proactive about doing that with the bottom of the roster.

Fitzpatrick is the only thing I am truly down about. He looked like what he is, no matter how much I had tried to convince myself in the past few months he was something else.

[Joshua]

Want a bright spot? For a rookie coach in his first post-game presser, O'Brien had the seasoned "it's on me" speech that it took Kubiak several years to master.

[nunusguy]

I was thinking we might go deep into the playoffs this season, but maybe I should revise my expectations after last night in the desert ?
Seriously, that was a real stinker ! I didn't see O'Brien go nutz on the sidelines with this disappointing, even disturbing performance by his first NFL team, I just wonder what he was like with them in the locker room after the game ?

[cland]

Its almost over.

I was hoping to see more of Savage, but the 4's can't get a damn stop....:mad:

This was my biggest disappointment as well, I was hoping we could at least get some tape on him in his first preseason appearance. I'm hoping he gets the 2nd team reps next game.

[Big Texas]

Savage would've gotten more PT if sorry ass Fitzpatrick didn't stay in the whole first half...

[WMH]

Savage would've gotten more PT if sorry ass Fitzpatrick didn't stay in the whole first half...

Fitz needed the work. As sad as this sounds, he's probably our best option this season. Keenum is what he is, and I would rather see Savage get extra reps as opposed to Case.

Of course Savage was playing behind a mix matched line last night that consisted of guys that will be sacking groceries, and got knocked the F out. Wouldn't be surprised if we don't hear about concussion protocol this week.

[chuck]

It was my understanding that Savage went through the concussion protocol and came out OK.

[WMH]

It was my understanding that Savage went through the concussion protocol and came out OK.

Glad to hear it. I'm hopeful he'll get some snaps with the 2's this weekend. He's the unknown of the 3, so why not?